Valentines and Love Languages: Unlock the secret code of the main Love Languages that will enable us to communicate love in a meaningful way. This Valentine’s Day The Bridge Magazine focuses on the importance of understanding and speaking each other’s love languages in a bid to achieve the tools we all need to connect deeply physically, mentally and emotionally with the ones we love.
20 February 2022
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As we celebrate Valentine’s Day on 14th February, data shows that divorce rates are increasing worldwide, and relationship experts warn COVID 19 – increased break-ups and the lack of love languages may be the cause.
This Valentine’s Day, The Bridge Magazine shares with its readers the importance of acknowledging the seven existing love languages to achieve, improve and maintain harmony with the ones we love.
Recent statistics on marriage and relationship failure raises eyebrows: with divorce applications and break-ups soaring in the UK and worldwide, leading British law firm Stewarts logged a 122% increase in enquiries, compared with the same period for the previous year.
Remember Dr Gary Chapman’s famous quote on the importance of understanding each other’s love languages: “Expressing love in the right language. We tend to speak our own love language,
to express love to others in a language that would make us feel loved. But if it is not his/her primary love language, it will not mean to them what it would mean to us.”
Dr. Gary Chapman is the famous American author and radio talk show host who became prominent for his series entitled The Five Love Languages, regarding human relationships, with a focus on romantic relationships.
As previously mentioned in one of our successful relationship articles, Valentine’s Day is the embodiment of the celebration of love and affection. But the day has almost lost its charm, originality and depth throughout the years: modern society often struggles to come to terms with the harsh reality of aggressive marketing that comes with Valentine’s Day celebrations.
The focus has drifted from genuine affection to a race against economic profits.
It’s seems there is any excuse to merchandise crude nudity and sex-related accessories at any cost: from dating websites to kinky sex accessories, not to mention the trend of ‘love’-related reality TV programmes.
Behind the pretext of seeking love, the more people strip and play clowns, the more ‘famous’ they become only to get dumped a few days later like a piece of sushi that has passed its use-by date. The whole idea behind love scenarios/ drama is the profit TV programmes can make out of the public calls and viewers.
No wonder very little is often published or broadcast about how important topics such as understanding love languages are, and the respect and affection of others as human beings, in order to avoid enslavement, abuse and objectification of others.
It is not always about SEX ONLY. Sex is only a tiny element of what an overall schedule of a young or adult human life entails. A balanced human being cannot talk constantly about sex or make love 24/7.
The importance of love languages
Everyone is different and we all have different interpretations of love signs or languages: what makes you feel love might be different to how your partner, your best friend, or family
member might feel love. People tend to express their love through their own love language and if their love language does not match their partner’s they may not feel loved.
Communication is usually the biggest barrier to all relationships, not solely romantic ones. By understanding your love languages, you can eventually learn how you prefer to be loved by guiding your partner in their choices when they decide to express their love and/or affection to you. You can also improve your way of expressing your love to your lover and loved ones.
Find below the seven aforementioned love languages and how understanding them might help improve your relationship with your lover, your friends, your family…
There is no shame nor signs of inferiority or loss of pride in expressing one’ s love or affection to someone. Love makes us human.
1. Gifts
We start with the language of gifting as the top tier of them all because it is one of the most controversial. Often mistaken with materialism around the world, selfish people have taken it as an excuse to hide their selfishness.
Gifts come in all shape and sizes. However, no matter the size, no matter the pecuniary value, any gift coming from the bottom of the heart is meaningful. It is not materialistic if your partner’s dominant love language is receiving gifts, you must try to gift them often.
Helping your parent financially or investing your money in their business without being asked is an act of affection.
Providing financial support to a lover or a family member should be the standard if one can afford it. Whether it be as pocket money or for holidays …You have not done something out of the ordinary or too special. It is standard.
2. Acts of Service
Little acts of service could be your way of showing love and affection.
It can fulfil the largest part of your lover or loved one’s hearts. It may involve cooking a lunch or a dinner for your family, or your lover, going to the grocery store to help them with their shopping.
For children, it could be taking their siblings to the park or helping their parents with household chores. Let me open the bottle of wine for you, let me help you with the bills, let me do it for you. Those words coming from a lover or a family member time to time, are magic.
3. Quality Time
We believe this love language could be classified as one of the top tier too. If you have love or affection for someone, you always find time to spend quality time with them
If you hardly spend quality time with your children or a lover, you do not give them enough time to express themselves. You will never know what the feel about your relationship what the like or dislike about you or about the way you treat them.
Some parents are carried away by their political views, their businesses or professional fame and success so that they know very little about their children.
They know nothing about parenthood. They don’t know their children’s favourite colours, their favourite movies, their favourite food, when they first have their menstrual period, their first love, their sexual orientation, the friends they hang out with…
Just like some children have grown too rich or too busy to care about their parents, grand parents or siblings. They have forgotten everything about brotherhood, their parents’ sleepless nights, the nappies changing and breastfeeding, let alone the cost of their education, all the hassle their parents have been through in order for them to succeed in life.
They just drop a text message to wish a happy birthday to their parents (that is if they even remember their birthday), their only relationship is sometimes just crediting their parents’ accounts. Paying a visit to your parents, staying over for a weekend or a few days, bringing your mother for a manicure or accompanying your father for a fresh haircut as a little treat is a love language.
For each aforementioned case, whatever the reason, an absolute lack of quality time is neither love nor affection. That is being mean, selfish and egocentric. The greatest gift you can give someone you respect, someone you love, is your time.
4. Words of Affirmation
Words are powerful. If you respect, are affectionate towards or love someone you use specific words to communicate with them. If they are in trouble, if they lack confidence in their work or themselves, you use words to comfort them, to support them, to help them. You do not use words to hurt, to harm, to humiliate. The words we use and how we use them can lift others up or break them down for ever.
Words of affirmation are some people’s dominant love languages. Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that positively empathize with someone. They can boost dreams or break them. They can invite connections or obstruct them.
If you notice that your lover or your loved ones get a thrill when you demonstrate lovely words of appreciation such as compliments, gratitude, and words of encouragement, be more vocal about the positive aspects you want to highlight about them. Your relationship will thrive as a result. The ecstasy that comes from a lovely note left just for you can be fulfilling.
5. Physical Touch
Physical affection can bring a bit of comfort, support, and kindness as well.
If your lover or loved ones are dominant in the love language of physical touch, physical presence and accessibility are very important.
This language is expressed by a reassuring touch, through hugs , kisses, cuddles, a firm handshake, holding hands, playing with their hair, pats on the back, massage, of any kind, and just being close to your lover or loved ones.
A kiss on the forehead or on the cheeks followed by a firm and cordial handshake to congratulate your child or siblings for their achievement will make them feel special, just like a passionate French kiss to a lover.
6. Communication
Never assume your lover or loved ones knows everything you expect in your relationship. Let them know: communication is the backbone of every relationship. If you feel hurt, say it so it can be rectified. Do not hide your feelings to save a relationship. When you respect, are affectionate towards or love someone you need to make an effort to subtly ask them to improve your relationship.
All humans have all the seven love languages within them to varying degrees. Understanding your own needs and those of your lover and loved ones will help you establish a more respectful, affectionate or loving relationship. You do not have to speak the same love language to have a fulfilling , balanced and long lasting relationship. Communicating your needs in a meaningful way with your lover or loved ones is key.
7 . Expressing affection and Love
Everyone deserves to be in a relationship where they respect, are affectionate towards, love and feel respected or loved back by their lover or loved ones. Unlike what some have been led to believe, expressing respect, affection and love towards a lover or your loved ones does not make you look cheap or weak in the eyes of others. Sincere acts of respect, affection, or love should be blessed and celebrated. Respect, affection and love are never in vain, they are acts of value in themselves.
Love languages are all inclusive for a perfect harmony in all relationships. Knowing your love languages allows you to share them with your lover or loved ones in a subtler manner. Knowing your partner’s, your friends or family’s love languages allows you to satisfy their needs before they even express them.
You are less likely to face miscommunication issues if you are able to understand the aforementioned seven existing love languages. This will enable you to choose among them the right ones to apply to your situation or to your case.
The Bridge Magazine wishes a happy belated Valentine’s Day to everyone.
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Dear All,
A massive thank you for all your comments that I receive everyday regarding my articles.
Just to note: if I do not reply to your comments individually it is because there is an overload of comments in my dashboard but I do see all your feedback and comments and we, the team at The Bridge Magazine ?️? are eternally grateful.
Kind Regards,
The Editor ?️?
Rachel Tcheungna ??♀️